


Forgive Me My Nonsense

by QuoteIntangible



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3619938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuoteIntangible/pseuds/QuoteIntangible
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto has never been mad at him before and Haru doesn’t know what to do. Enlisting Nagisa and Rei’s help seemed reasonable at the time. </p><p>Companion piece to Going for the Heart. Title from Robert Frost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive Me My Nonsense

“I think Makoto is mad at me.”

He’s sitting around the kotatsu with Rei and Nagisa at the  Hazuki house. The two of them are kind of mad at him too, but they agreed to meet him once they knew it was for Makoto. Normally he wouldn’t  go to anyone but Makoto or Rin for advice, but he’s not sure how to broach the subject with his new boyfriend. And talking to Rin about this just seems kind of cruel, even though both of them are in the same boat. Nagisa and Rei are kind of his last option.

“Whatever gave you that idea?” Nagisa says, flicking a stray crumb from the kotatsu at Haru.

“Well,” Haru says, thinking back on the last few days since his conversation with Makoto where they agreed to start dating. “It’s hard to pinpoint an exact reason, there’s just something off between us.” They’re not having their usual silent conversations. Makoto is making Haru actually tell him what he’s thinking. He doesn’t let himself in Haru’s bathroom in the morning anymore. He doesn’t chatter as much as he used to, fill the silences, or initiate contact. It feels like Makoto is pulling away even though they’re supposed to be closer than ever.

“I believe Nagisa was being sarcastic,” Rei says as he takes his glasses off and cleans them on his shirt. “It’s quite obvious Makoto is mad at you.”

Haru drops his gaze to the kotatsu. He guesses he kind of deserved that, but he refuses to blush at his blunder. With Makoto being his best friend his whole life, he didn’t have a whole lot of chances to come across sarcasm before. And he’s never had his best friend mad at him either. This is entirely new territory for him. “What can I do?”

“You could stop making him almost be late for school every day,” Nagisa mumbles. Haru isn’t sure he was supposed to hear that or not.

But then Rei says, “It is true that Makoto spends a disproportionate amount of his morning making sure you get to school on time.”

“Yeah, why don’t you show up at his house for once and do something nice like uh, bring him breakfast.”

That sounds like a lot of effort. But Makoto is the one thing Haru believes is worth the effort. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. “Do you think that will work?” he quietly asks.

“You won’t know until you try,” Rei softly says. When he looks up, Rei and Nagisa don’t look quite as mad as they had these last few days.

“I’m sorry,” Haru uncharacteristically blurts out, “that both of you got caught up in this, too.”

Nagisa grins at him instead of throwing him the anger filled glare he’s been sending Haru for days. “Well, you were being stupid for love, so I guess that’s gotta count for something.”

**

If Makoto’s mother is surprised to see him so early in the morning, she doesn’t say anything about it as she lets Haru in. He knocked so quietly, he wasn’t sure anyone would hear him, but he is nervous about being here. He doesn’t know how much Makoto’s parents know, after all.

He sneaks into Makoto’s room while his boyfriend is still sleeping, and oh how it seemed like a good idea at the time.

He kneels down next to the bed and says, “Makoto.”

The other teen jerks awake with a gasp and rolls away from Haru so forcefully he ends up falling off the bed. He sees a tuft of brown hair peek over the other side of the bed, followed by a pair of green eyes.

“Haru! What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to come get you before school for once.” He doesn’t need to see the rest of Makoto’s face to know he is smiling in that way he always does when he is fond of something.

"You didn't have to get here so early," Makoto sighs. “I haven’t even showered yet.”

“That’s okay. I’m going to make breakfast.” He practically runs from the room as Makoto picks himself off the floor. Haru’s not sure he can restrain himself from grabbing a half-naked, bed mussed, sleepy Makoto and kissing him. They haven’t had _the talk_ yet. He doesn’t know if he’s allowed to do those kinds of things.

He makes breakfast for the whole family. Makoto’s parents are suspicious of his presence, as is Makoto, but the twins are glad to have him there. So that’s gotta count for something, right?

Apparently not. Makoto won’t stop giving him surreptitious glances the entire walk to school, but he still doesn’t fill the silence with the soothing lilt of his chatter.

**

“It didn’t work,” he tells Nagisa and Rei after school that day. “Things are still…awkward.” Haru’s used to be in awkward situations. As socially inept as he is, he tends to find himself in those kind of situations on a daily basis. But never with Makoto. Things had always been so easy with him. This new strain on their relationship is painful, in more ways than one.

Nagisa looks thoughtful as he entwines his hand with Rei’s. It’s a deliberate punch in the gut, a reminder of what Haru does not currently have. Then Nagisa brightens and exclaims, “Make him lunch!”

“That’s right,” Rei says. “Makoto shares his lunch when you forget yours.”

“You want me to walk him to school and make him lunch?” he says with considerably less enthusiasm than the other two.

Haru has never seen Nagisa’s face go from happy to straight out of a manga about demons so quickly. “You want Makoto to forgive you, right?”

“Do you think that’ll work?”

“I think you should stop asking that and try just a little bit harder to get Makoto’s forgiveness.”

Haru doesn’t let the reprimand sting too much, but maybe Rei is right. Maybe he needs to stop wondering about the why so much, and try harder on the how.

At lunch the next day, Haru shows Makoto the bento he specially prepared for his new boyfriend. It’s mackerel free and it pained Haru to even make it. Makoto’s smile of thanks is like a candle in the darkness and on the walk home the silence is once more filled with idle chatter. But it’s stilted, filled with long pregnant pauses, and uncomfortable, despite Haru’s best efforts to actually try and be involved in the conversation for once. Makoto is holding something back, afraid of…Haru doesn’t know what.

And knowing that hurts.

**

“You seem kind of down today,” Rei tells him the next day. Haru is unaware of acting any different than usual. Nagisa remains quiet and though he has forgiven him, Haru thinks the younger boy sees this as retribution. “Did it not work?”

“It is working,” he says, but he’s starting to think this isn’t about forgiveness anymore and that Makoto has truly already exonerated him of his transgressions. This is something else entirely. “But he’s holding back.”

“You know what you need?” Nagisa says, taking a huge bite out of his dessert and then taking his sweet time chewing it before continuing. “A cat. Makoto loves cats.”

“Ren’s allergic.”

“A stuffed cat then. The biggest you can find.”

Haru spent an entire afternoon going store to store, trying to find a stuffed cat suitable enough to fit Nagisa’s requirements. It’s huge, way bigger than any actual cat, and he’s gonna look ridiculous showing up to Makoto’s house tomorrow with it, but Haru buys it anyway.

When he shows up at the Tachibana house the next morning with the stupid cat in tow, Makoto’s father is looking at him with concern.

“Haru, sit,” he says, pointing at the swing on the front porch. “What…Is this….Are you trying to court Makoto? Is that what this is all about?”

Haru very nearly chokes on his own tongue. Is this really happening right now? With Makoto’s father of all people? This is almost as embarrassing as the time he gave both him and Makoto the birds and the bees talk. Haru doesn’t want to spill Makoto’s secrets, so he doesn’t say anything at all.

“I don’t care if you or Makoto are gay, but I want you to be careful. I’m not so sure this approach is working for you –”

“It’s not that,” Haru blurts out. He’s not about to tell Makoto’s father they’re already dating, because of the way things are going, he could hardly call it dating at all. “I think Makoto is mad at me.”

“Oh, well, I can’t help you there, son,” he says and claps Haru on the back. “I bet you if talked with him, it’s probably all just a big misunderstanding.”

It’s not. While everyone knows Makoto is a giant pushover and can't hold a grudge to save his life, Haru messed up, big time and this isn't something that can be labelled as a 'misunderstanding' and swept under the rug. Haru’s not about to admit that to Makoto’s father, though.

“I got this for you,” Haru says, thrusting the cat into Makoto’s hands after letting himself into his bedroom. 

His boyfriend blushes and stutters out a thanks. "It's uh, huge. Where did you even find this?"

Haru shrugs, because he doesn't remember and it doesn't matter. 

"Is there any particular reason for it?" Makoto asks, as he sets the giant stuffed cat on his bed. 

"I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you," Haru mumbles, embarrassed as he fights the urge to nervously shuffle his feet. His words don't quite have the effect he thought they would. 

"Oh," Makoto says, his lips trembling and pulled down into a frown before he turns and walks straight out of the room. 

Haru hurriedly chases after him. “Can I, can we hold hands on the way to school?” he asks before he loses his nerve.

“S-sure,” Makoto says.

Haru’s cheeks are as warm as his hand as they walk to school, hand in hand. Then he asks, “do you want to hang out at my place after school?”

“I can’t. I have to babysit the twins,” Makoto replies. He doesn’t extend an invitation to Haru and any hope garnered from holding Makoto's hand is squashed like a bug on a windshield. It’s Friday night and late fall, so he’s got absolutely nothing to do without Makoto and spends the next three days moping. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe Makoto doesn’t really want to date him. Maybe Haru doesn’t really know what to do.

“You look rather depressed,” Rei says on Monday after lunch.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admits. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

“You’re not just gonna give up, are you?” Nagisa angrily says. “Cuz that would just be stupid.”

Haru doesn’t say anything, and for a second, Nagisa looks guilty.

“Well, we’re not going to let you, right Rei?”

“Right.”

“Maybe it’s for the best if I just stop. I don’t think Makoto even wants this,” Haru quietly admits.

“He does,” Rei insists and he seems so adamant about it that startles him.

“Yeah, the guy is head over heels for you. You’re just going through a rough patch. You know what you need,” Nagisa says and he looks positively devilish. “To dress like Makoto’s favorite thing. A cat!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Nagisa. We've taken this too far," he says, shaking his head at the blonde before turning towards Haru. "You need to talk to him, Haru, about what’s really bothering him and how you really feel.”

Haru spends the next week thinking about his options and goes with the cat suit. He was never that good at talking. He'll probably just mess it up.

"You look ridiculous," Nagisa says, bursting into laughter after insisting to see the outfit he obtained for Haru. It's tight and uncomfortable and incredibly stupid, but this was Haru's choice. He's got no right to complain. Then he hears the click of Nagisa's camera phone and his glare promises to bury that phone on the bottom of the ocean if that picture ever sees the light of day. 

"Good luck!" Nagisa sing-songs on the way out the door. But he pauses and Haru gets a rare glimpse of Nagisa's serious side. "Rei's right you know. You really need to talk to Makoto." He shuts the door behind him before Haru can reply.

It’s too embarrassing to let anyone else see him like this, so he asks Makoto to meet him at his house. Haru’s waiting patiently in a black leotard and kitty ears with black whiskers painted on his face, outfit courtesy of one of Nagisa’s sisters. Makoto opens the door and freezes.

“Haru, what?” he says in shock and then he’s bursting out in laughter. Haru’s too relieved to feel embarrassed. “What _is_ this?” He gestures out Haru’s ridiculous get up. "What is going on?"

“I,” he starts and pauses. What is he going to say? He settles for the truth. He’s too socially inept to come up with anything better. “You’re mad at me.”

“No I’m not,” Makoto assures.

“Then why are things so awkward. You said you were willing to try dating, but you’re not trying and we’re not really dating. We’re farther apart than before. It’s, I don’t like it.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Makoto asks, but he doesn’t look relieved like Haru thought he would.

“No,” he fervently says. “I’m trying to make you not mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Makoto insists, grabbing Haru’s hand and leading him to the couch. He pulls Haru down next to him.

“Then what’s wrong?” he pleads. He tightens his hand around Makoto’s when the younger boy tries to pull away.

“I’m scared,” Makoto says, his eyes finding Haru’s. “I’m scared that Rin’s gonna pop up out of the shadows one day and the two of you are gonna tell me that the only reason you’re dating me is because of one of your stupid competitions.”

Haru curses himself again for falling for Rin’s stupid antics. “Makoto, do you like me?” This is all so utterly pointless if he doesn’t.

“Yes,” Makoto says and turns his head away as he squeezes his eyes shut.

“I like you too. I want to be with you.” He grabs Makoto’s other hand, forcing the other boy to turn towards him. Makoto’s eyes don’t snap open, they flutter, suspicion still clouding his gaze.  “And I will tell you every day for the rest of our lives how much I want to be with you if I have too.”

Haru cherishes the soft smile he receives in return, and when he leans forward to kiss him, Makoto meets him halfway.


End file.
